when it rains, it pours

I got a 2 day vacation last week. It should have been 7 days which means that I should still be on leave this week; however, 2 of my colleagues have filed for their breaks this week and there was a training scheduled for me as well so my 5 days were not approved. My anticipation of 11 days without work has given me dismay when I learned that it won’t happen. I have planned to finish all my pending requirements in school – knowing that I got ample time to concentrate. So, I didn’t finish everything.

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Speaking of school – I am currently taking my master’s degree in information systems in UPOU. This is my 2nd year, but I won’t be graduating this school year. I am taking my time as I am still mastering the art of balancing work and study. Mind you, online learning is hard. I was wrong when I thought that would be easy because I would get to study on my own pace without having to deal with professors and parasitic classmates. God! I wish I have the time to be a resident in a campus so I could get all the live interaction that I could get instead of purely email and chat!

I am afraid that I will drop a course this semester. I got 9 units – 3 major, as in MAJOR, subjects. My shifting and on-call schedules, in addition to my new role won’t let me have enough time for all those courses. God help me! I already got an EXT (extended) grade last year (which means INC – incomplete for campus-based students). I don’t want to have another set of letters, i.e. DRP (dropped) on my transcript. But I have would to choose the lesser evil between DRP and 5.0. By the way, I’m thinking of dropping my Strategic Information Systems Development course. My time is so limited to find a company which is large enough for a strategic information systems plan.

So, before I drop a subject, if there is anyone reading this blog who could be of help to provide me with details of a company / government agency so I could finish one of my projects I would really appreciate it. God bless you whoever you are. A big thanks as well.

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I my hair cut last Thursday. I got my hair really short – but somewhat longer than skin head. I was anticipating heat brought about by dry spell. I didn’t want to put on gel on my hair ‘coz it will just retain heat. But it rained. It has been raining since Saturday. It rained all day yesterday. I guess this is the start of the wet season.

Well, I hope drought is done because I hate sweat. Even if I was wet in rain water before I reached the office yesterday, I was happy because I wasn’t soaked in sweat!

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Being in training means that I won’t have to be on my project at work. My 3-day training is such a relief because I won’t have to deal with the client’s pressure. Aside from that, I don’t see my managers to ruin my day! Wish I could have more of these trainings. Haha!

If you are wondering why I don’t like seeing my managers, well, here is the story (though I think that this should be on a separate post). During my performance coaching with my immediate supervisor for our annual appraisal, I have raised my intention of leaving the project. Of course I understand that it is difficult for managers to release a resource, especially if a resource like me is hard to find for my job (that’s the truth okay!). I have stated my reasons for leaving, which were all rational. So, my supervisor has assured me that he will take my issue to our managers. On our next meeting he has assured me that our project manager has given me a go signal to leave the project. My supervisor and I agreed that I will stay until September when I have transitioned my job to a co-worker. Then a co-worker was somewhat promoted to the role that I have and I asked our human resources representative about the process of getting out of my project.

One day, our project manager approached me to schedule a meeting. I thought the meeting would be about my team since I was my team’s only supervisor that time of the day. I was wrong! The meeting was about me – my role, my performance, and my career. I wasn’t prepared for that kind of talk with him. And worse, we never got into a private space but instead we went in a room where people conduct informal meetings. There were lots of people in that room, not to mention a lot of noise. How can I get my points heard by my boss? Well, it was a public room and I don’t want people think that I am raising my voice at my manager even if I was just stressing my points (yeah, I am still an angel even if I got a tail!). Anyway, what we talked about was his plans of not letting me leave the project. He said that I will be given new roles regardless of my career objectives. I was totally devastated. And his reasons: difficult to release me since he still needs to ask permission from the client, he doesn’t know where to put me (as if that would still be his job), hard to find a replacement for me (then I deserve a better treatment!), etc. etc. His reasons were not good, and are so shallow. Well, to summarize what we have talked about, I have a dead-end career. I have felt that I am no greater than those folks who didn’t finish anything in college – no offense to them.

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Okay, done with my frustrations.

Tomorrow is a new day. I may not have the things that I want for myself today but I am not losing hope. Let me just share some messages I received on my phone that inspired me so I can inspire others as well.

"Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Every flower bud blossoms when it’s time. Every prayer is answered in God’s time."