dear sally

I don’t know if it just me who wants to have a friend in a sort of long distance relationship.

I was in my fourth year in high school when I was introduced to world of cyberspace. Not many sites were interesting as now. Though, there is one thing that hooked me in that craze – and that is IRC. Chatting during those days has become my addiction, as I talked with people around the globe, practice my English and learn French.

As a kid, most of us were told not to talk with strangers. It is funny how things have become as we grow older (or wiser?).

Getting to know people from everywhere, imagining how they live, experiencing what they do tickles my mind. In my experience chatting with people, I feel that a bond somehow exists as we spend more and more time with the same person on the net. Before I know it, the idea of friendship has already become.

Felicity has Sally. Although they talk about their lives thru a tape recorder, I feel that the level of happiness of talking with a friend is the same. The relationship with another person thru net is somewhat make-believe but it is actually more than that. Sometimes, it really does feel more comforting talking with “cyber friends”. I feel that their views are more objective and often I live by their advice.

Over the years, I still kept my cyber friends. Of course there were times that we’ve lost in touch but the excitement of touching base grows. Funny thing is, there have been plans of meet-ups but none has happened yet. YM and social networking sites have helped us see each other though.

To all my newfound friends here, I thank you for sharing your experiences with me. Thank you for your “company”. Thank you for making me realize that life is everything that we share.

reminiscence

Uwi ka ngayon.

It was my youngest sibling who sent me that message. I replied to ask why, but didn’t get a response. I called him, no answer. Then called my other brother and my mom, they didn’t answer my call. I know something bad had happened so I called my aunt. Her words “your lolo is gone” broke me into tears.

As with many people, my family is much closer with my mom’s side. My dad has always been away working and my mom has her usual trips for work. So, we were practically raised by my lola and aunt when we were growing up.

My lolo, was the first loss in my mom’s side of the family. It was not easy.

- - -

I went home immediately after I have heard the news. My lolo’s house is just beside our house. When I came home, I saw the lights and the casket. Tears were already falling from my eyes as I went straight to my room. I went out, saw my aunt and cried.

Sa tuwing umuuwi ako, hindi ako nagpapakita sa lolo. Hanggat maari ayoko tawagin nya ako para kumustahin. Hindi ko sya kayang makitang nanghihina. Naawa ako. Alam ko, na alam na mom ko na ganun ang nararamdaman ko. Kaya nung umuwi ako, mas lalong hirap akong dalhin sarili ko sa bahay nya. Pero nung sinabi ng tita ko na, “noong isang araw pa naghihintay ang lolo nyo, naghahanap ng apo” saka pa lang ako lumipat ng bahay. Sa kusina ako dumaan, sa likod ng nakahilerang upuan doon ko tinanaw ang mga labi ng lolo ko. Umiyak, yakap ang mom ko. Saka umalis uli. Ang hirap sa kalooban.

- - -

At times like this, you do not need to ask what happened. The story about what happened will be retold a hundred times. So, I kept my ears open.

- - -

Sabi nga ng uncle ko, malungkot dahil wala na ang lolo pero masaya dahil naiayos ni lolo ang lahat.

- - -

Hindi ko masyado kilala ang lolo ko. Bata pa ako nung nagretire sya. Alam ko lang, may malaking program sa office nila nun. Dami accomplishments. Sabi ko nga, kahit magpagod ako sa trabaho ng todo, hindi ko maaabot narating nya. Ngayon ko lang narealize na mas higit pa dun ang nagawa nya.

- - -

On his second day, I went out to do some errands. When I came home, I saw my keyboard near his casket. Our church deacon used it during the worship service for my lolo. After the service, my one of my uncle said that I play the keyboard for my lolo.

Yes, it was my lolo who made me study the piano. I was his scholar. But, I am not as good as before. I haven’t touched a piano in years. My keyboard is a little bit broken because I don’t use it a lot lately. Then my uncle said “tumugtog ka, ang lolo mo ang nagpaaral sa iyo ng piano!”. Tell me about pressure!

So, I played church hymns. Though I missed to hit some notes, it wasn’t obvious as the family sang along.

Then my uncle said, “Mac (my youngest cousin, 2 years old), said bye-bye papa (lolo)”. Then I heard him said, “bye-bye papa” several times and when I looked at him, he was crying. I couldn’t hold myself anymore so I left… and cried.

- - -

Before our minister delivered his message, one of the elders asked if someone could say a sort of eulogy for my lolo. My mom, being my lolo’s the eldest child, came forward and told her stories. As she was narrating hers, I remembered what my lolo’s last words for me.

Two weeks ago, I went to their small store in front of their house to get some laundry soap. I was surprised to see him by their door, asking me to get him a bottle of Coke. I know he meant a liter of Coke but I can only find 8-ounce bottles in the store fridge. So, I took a big bottle of Pop cola instead. Then, it was just lately that I learned he doesn’t drink Pop.

As a kid, my lolo would always ask me to buy drinks for him. When he was younger, every night I would buy him his Tanduay Rum and Hope cigarette. But as he grew much older, I would buy him his Coke and bread.

Si lolo, kung anu pinakauna kong naaalala sa kanya, yun din ang huli kong alaala.

- - -

Sabi ni lolo, sana raw magising sya minsan na wala nang nararamdamang sakit sa katawan. Yun din ang sabi nya kay Pastor nung dinalaw sya nito sa ospital.

Sa wakas, wala ka na sakit lolo. Tapos na paghihirap mo.

letting go

We didn’t talk much. But every time you speak to me, I feel how much you care.

I haven’t told you everything that I wanted to say. But this time, I hope that it is not too late. I just want to thank you for all the things that you have given me. I thank you for the lessons you have imparted. I thank you for the dreams that we shared. I thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made for me. I thank you, for being my lolo.

I remember there was a time that we didn’t speak with each other for so long. But when you have heard the news about my accomplishment, you were the first one to greet me. And when I turned my back on the path I was supposed to take, your words drove me to prove myself of what I can be.

I know, that my lifetime is not enough to do the things that you have done. We live in different times. I hope, though, that you will be proud of what I will become. I promise that you will be proud of me.

I am sorry, if in your last years I am not able to talk to you much. Seeing you since your the accident on my birthday has become difficult for me. I am not used to see you so weak. It was hard for me to see you on your bed. I am sorry, that when I went home last week, I didn’t bring myself to see you in the hospital.

I love you lolo. I wasn’t able to tell you that. I know that you are watching over us. I hope it’s not too late. I love you.

drowning...

just got back from a 3-day leave... i've got tons of work to do!

i'll be back...

bwahahahaha!

i was able to help myself.

done with my project!

panis!


got one more for my final exam. God help me!

i need help

Getting an academic degree on a discipline requires students to learn, if not all but at least an overview of, everything under that field. That is why I opted to get a graduate degree instead of taking certifications first. I am still new to the IT industry and I told myself, why not be a jack of all trades first and once I know my strength and interests, then I could be a master of one!

So, misery begins. I used to work in the field of networking. Taking a class in software development is basically harakiri. Having a specialized course in client-server computing is suicide! Well, I’ve had programming experience in my undergrad studies but graduate work requires more skills. I had to relearn old school programming languages and alienate myself from today’s languages in-demand. Yeah, yeah, there are a lot of tutorials online but still!!!

Last night, I got to chat with some of my classmates. Good thing, I am not alone. They are having difficulties as well. Even some professional programmers are struggling. I need help. They need help. We all need help!

Help! Anyone able to strip HTML tags and other entities (scripts, CSS, etc.) please don’t be shy to lend a hand. This is what I have come up so far in Java (just strips the HTML tags but not scripts and CSS):

string = string.replaceAll("\\<.*?\\>", "");

It basically just ignores anything inside <>. It is not a problem if you prefer to create a method/function as long as I can display valid texts of an HTML page. I am implementing this is Java, still can’t figure out how to do this in C but anyhow, I’ll stick with Java as long as it’s done.

The hard part of making a pseudo-proxy server has been dealt with.

- - -

Update:
So far i have managed to ignore HTML tags by:

string = string.replaceAll("\\<.*?\\>", "");
This basically replaces text between <> tags with nothing.What I do is I try to read an HTML line by line (using a loop), print the string implementing the code above.

I just taught myself Java and have limited knowledge about the "built-in" classes. I would appreciate if you could help me find a way to search for texts between \<-- and \--> which are basically texts for scripts. These texts may come in multiple lines so I think I need to create a loop to search for the is found.

I have read about class Pattern, but basically, don't know how to use it. I think using pattern matching would be the best thing to do here.

I think i can deal with CSS thingies once I'm able to solve the problem with . I'll just change the expression.

Appreciate any help on this.

define happiness

Would I rather be with the person who loves me or with the person whom I love more?

not good

It’s September – as in September the start of the “ber” months. It’s the start of the Christmas season here. Christmastime – with all the snow thing and stuff (except that there’s no snow here!). Well, anyway, it’s supposed to be cold but it’s definitely not! It’s still hot! As in HOT!

The weather has not been cooperating with the clock since May and everything is so, so wrong!

You know what’s worse? I’ve got colds. Can you imagine having a drippy nose, in a hot weather with the headache? Damn!

I’ve got so many things to do – school deadlines already passed (again)! And I can’t concentrate because I’m so pissed… Really!

Weather, work politics, school, and this freakin’ colds!

F*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!