homecoming

i was once invited by my colleagues to attend this 'gathering'. i was shocked when i found out that we had to sing and do some 'sharing'. lucky me, only one was assigned to share. and i swore to myself to never come back.

well, sharing is not my thing. i keep my relationship with God private. i wasn't raised a catholic - no confessions and though it is common in my congregation to share during some group 'meetings', i opt not (if i could).

growing up and until now, i am confident about my faith. in my younger years, i have never missed vbs. i was even one of the first youngsters to be in our children's choir. i even had a short stint being a church pianist.

i used to pray every night. but when i got my first job and worked in graveyard shifts i stopped. that doesn't make me less of a christian, right? i do feel bad that i haven't got much personal time with Him.

yesterday, i promised my mom that i'll go to church. since i'm not much of a people person, i didn't want to go alone so me and my mom and my brother went to vesper service. and boy, i got the shock of my life. first, there's a band. really! playing praise songs and all and people (well, maybe due to the band, most were young adults) were dancing. if i remember it right, we were in a 'conservative' protestant church were the congregation are born to sing in unison in SATB voices accompanied by a piano - no dancing except for junior worship (i.e. with kids!). then, there was no liturgist. well, that i could live with. and no more, 'family of God' hymn on the greeting part. apart from that, there was this new arrangement of the doxology... the list of new things just go on.

i really have been gone for so long. the changes - i must say isn't bad. honestly, i like it more as it feels 'happier'.

the only thing i didnt' like was the feeling i had when the new pastor (not really new since he's been on the church for years) had to reintroduce me to the congregation. i really felt bad. seriously. this was the church where my parents got married, where i was baptized, confirmed, and had my communions. i wanted to cry. i was estranged.